This i wrote for history class, we were axed to write our own "I have a dream speech "

ÜBERTOPIA

          Ladies and gentlemen, I have a dream, a dream of all people of the world united under one flag, a flag of wisdom, intelligence and tolerance of all races, genders, sexual orientations, and ethnic origin. This is only attainable in a world of physical perfection and more importantly, mental perfection with no gods, and no government. And all will be equal, equal in all ways, all ways but two, the fitness of the mind and body.

          Upon graduation from high-school all people will be given a test, a test to test mental ability, potential and usefulness, all who do not satisfy the requirements for passing the test will need to be able to prove themselves worthy of life through skill in a needed occupation of ability. All who fail both of these will perish. They will perish because they cannot serve the common wealth and will only feed off the precious few recourses left on earth, and must be let go, lest they weaken the gene pool and decay the perfect earth.

          At this point in evolution there will be no need for archaic beliefs such as religion and government for they only stunt the growth of the people’s mental capacity and narrow their minds. They are both institutions created by lesser mortals to manipulate the lesser beings into doing their bidding. Religion dose nothing but prove how inept its sheep are the art of at free thinking.

          There will be no government, but there will be law. The law shall be made simple in accordance with Occam’s razor that the simplest solution is the best. The Law: 1 No human being may ever harm another human being by any means under any circumstances other than self defense. 2 No human being may be superior to any other human being under any circumstances other than an occupational sense.

          People sill tell you that these laws are incomplete and do not observe protection from lying, cheating and steeling; but do these crimes not also harm people . People will tell you that my dream is evil, people sill tell you my plan has no regard for human life, but are the sick and dieing branches not trimmed from the bush, should all people suffer to support the weak, SHOULD THE WEAK, THE FEW, RULE OVER THE MANY WITH THEIR CONSTANT NEED FOR TIME, MONEY, AND RESORSES!

I HAVE THE BEST INTENTION FOR HUMAN LIFE IN MY MIND, TO SEVER THE INFECTED HAND, TO SAVE AND MAKE PERFECT THE REST OF THE BODY!

    -To the reader: I hope you have taken none of this paper serious, and if you have maybe you should consider taking this test I have prepared for you.

    - To the reader: I would like to give a shout-out to Jonathan Swift.

      ( if you don’t get this is satire yet you are truly and f@#king idiot)

i wrote this paper for my anglish class and even though i know most of you wont read it i think its pretty funny and worth 10 minutes of your time:

Seth Yockey

27/3/2006

Engler

English III

When best laid plans of Seth Yockey and Victor Frankenstein go awry

            Cheese cake as defined by Webster’s dictionary is “a cake made by baking a mixture of cream cheese or cottage cheese, egg and sugar in a pastry shell or mold”, or ”photographs of an attractive usually scantily clothed young woman” (Merriam-Webster’s American English Dictionary,2003). But to a certain member of the human race, known only by his name (and a few aliases), Seth “73H M0R520R2” Yockey knows cheese cake only as a symbol of hatred, disgust, and an odiferous adversary. Much in the way that Victor Frankenstein is acquainted his creation in the novel Frankenstein by Mary Shelly. It is to be explained to the reader the reason such spite is felt against the technically undead and cheese cake though this paper.

            Much like creating life, cheese cake is a much sought after and prized commodity. Both seem simple enough (mostly cheese cake), and a man of sufficient intellect should be able to make cheese cake as a genius and visionary should be able to create life. Some time in late 2005 Seth Yockey had his first success in making cheese cake, all seemed well at first but Seth did not immediately realize the folly in his actions. This can be compared to the experience of Victor Frankenstein. After his creation was complete, Victor was elated, glad that he could create life and undo the cycle of death that had so very plagued his life, but he was also unaware of the abomination he had created.

            Something soon became apparent to Seth and Frankenstein after their excitement from the successful creations was over, something was not right. In the case of Seth Yockey his cheese cake became undesirable and worthless after he discovered that the amounts of lemon juice and vanilla extract in the recipe were not interchangeable. But Frankenstein’s became aware that through his process of sewing corpses of the sick in both mind and body together his creation lacked a soul, a purpose and a partner in life. Both creations were and are now still shunned and rejected by society for their unfavorable attributes and homicidal tendencies.

            Although Frankenstein suffered more from his mistake that Seth, both ultimately failed at their attempts to create something. Frankenstein did not in fact crate a life, since his own life was destroyed and eventually ended through the work of his creation, it could be argued that he only gave the monster a life in exchange for his own. Seth, on the other hand, did not suffer as much from the consequences of his ignorance but, instead, learned a life lesson that he will never forget.        

Hey, check out my new sexy-ass profile picture, Bitches

also:

-William Blake owns your soal

-Satan tastes good

-Jesus was a F46607Y "N36R0"

-I am iron man, and the walrus

-goo-goo kachoo

-my birthday is on good friday this year, subsequently: 73H 9WN5

-facebook is faggotbook

-fuck mission-trips

-911 was a government cover-up (see next bullet)

- http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8260059923762628848&q=loose+change

-my computer's speakers tell me things when they are not being used

-i think they are picking up radio signals

-911 was a government cover-up (see three bullets previous to this one)

#1: Shizuka Arakawa is hot

#2: Googlisms, although for people with too much free time, is entertaining

      Examples:

seth is latin for sex god

seth is a fox

seth is cheapes stiker?

seth is the ancient egyptian god of chaos and confusion

seth is decsended from numerous musicians and cantors

seth is the sexiest man alive

seth is not an evil god

seth is senior technical advisor for nuclear safety at the department of energy

seth is currently touring the country for the remainder of 2002

seth is known by the names seth

seth is life

seth is the offspring of geb and nut

seth is a seven piece world beat from virginia that is a study in multi

seth is spoken of in terms of reverence as the god of wind and storms

seth is "he before whom the sky shakes

seth is set apart from the other 13 year old boys because of his twisted and broken leg

seth is pleased to be working with fellow monkey

seth is utterly insane

seth is mean

seth is an expert system for the management of acute drug poisoning

seth is on the map

seth is easily king of our clan

seth is not only a tale from the past

seth is identified with the monstrous greek genie typhon

seth is one of the heroes of internet free speech; one of those rare people who do the work despite the fact that they know they will receive no credit

seth is the sort who never leaves his terminal

seth is a gold dust day gecko

seth is an angel so he doesn?t has the sense of pain or any human feelings

seth is being touted as the next evel knievel

seth is learning to manuver the mouse on his computer

seth is best